Marriage Jokes

A man goes to see a wizard and says "can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago?""Maybe" says the wizard, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse"The man replies...

A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?"After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I...

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door."Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me."Sure...

Three men died and went to heaven. The guy at the gate said "The more faithful you were to your wife, the better kind of car you will get." The first guy was very loyal to his...

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset."What's the matter, buddy ?" asks the bartender. "It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back...

A man asks his wife about a mysterious bag of beans in the kitchen. MAN: Honey where did this bag of beans come from?WIFE: Honey I'm sorry please forgive me...I've been unfaithful...

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at...

As soon as the newly-weds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away."How did everything go?" her mum asked."Oh, mother,"...

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "Excuse me, I was too busy looking for my wife.""What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm...

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist...