Marriage Jokes

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're...

A man comes back from work at night and heads straight to the bedroom to make love to his wife. He got into the blanket and they made a quick one. When he is done, he goes to the...

A married couple is driving along the highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband abruptly looks across at her, speaking in a clear...

A man takes his seat at a world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.MAN: Who would ever miss the world cup...

A man married very pretty girl and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle...

WOMEN: A wife was not at home for the whole night. The next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed in her girlfriend's apartment. The husband calls 10 of her best friends...

A woman was at home when she heard someone knock at the door. She went and opened the door and saw a man standing there.He asked the lady, "Do you have a vagina?"She slammed the...

HUSBAND: Honey, whenever you are down, just go straight to the mirror and say "wow! I'm so cute and you will be relieved."WIFE: Thanks sweetie, you know what's good for me.HUSBAND...

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my...

Even though it was raining heavily outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls. "Your wife must like rolls," he said. "How do you know...