Family Jokes

A boy caught his dad having s*x with the housemaid. The father gave his son N500 not to tell anybody including his mum. The boy replied, "Dad, this is unfair! Mum gave me N1,500...

DADDY: Say daddy!BABY: Mommy!DAD: Come on, say daddy!BABY: Mommy!DAD: F*ck you, say daddy!BABY: F*ck you, Mommy!MUM: Honey, I'm home!BABY: F*ck you!MUM: (shocked!) Who taught you...

Akpos was at the sitting room watching TV when his father came in and asked to go to his room to read. Akpos grabbed a coin on the table in front of him, flipped it in the air and...

TEACHER: How old is your father?STUDENT: He is as old as me.TEACHER: (surprised) How? I don't understand.STUDENT: He became a father when I was born.

TEACHER: Go home and find three new words or phrases and bring them to me tomorrow.Akpos goes home and asks his mother while she is on the phone.AKPOS: Mum, class teacher gave me...

After falling JAMB for the 3rd time...DAD: Pass me the TV remote.ME: (passes it to him)DAD: At least you can pass something!ME: (crying)

A man bought a lie detector machine that slaps people whenever they lie, and decides to test it during lunch with his family.FATHER: Son, where did you go today?SON: I went to...

Akpos' next door neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Akpos' family to come...

A couple was watching a TV programme at home and a conversation ensued...WIFE: Honey, at 8pm tonight they will be showing a documentary about a 120 inches long snake but I won't...

A guy sent his married friend a text message..."Dude, youre going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her (Message...