Bad Old Woman

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped open, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag."

"Oh, rats! Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no," said the old lady. "You see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden. Then I thought, "why not make the most of it? So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the hole with my shears. Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, "O.K., buddy! Give me $50, or I cut off your thing!"

Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know," said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."