English Letter

Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why he didn't submit an assignment.

Dear Lecturer,
I'm sorry I could not do the homework on time because I was tired after watching television.

Thank you.

The Lecturer warns him to write a formal letter with formal English reflective of a varsity student lest he be punished.

This is what Akpos wrote:

Dear knowledge conduit,

My sovereign persona is thoroughly apologetic for my sordid academic behavioural inactivity or academic hibernation as regards the assignment. Unfortunately, our smart Samsung HDTV was visually competitive in relation to the assignment, prompting me to fall prey to its seduction to the detriment of the assignment. Ultimately, my exhaustion directed my nocturnally loyal body to my bed thereby rendering me half dead albeit still breathing in the process.

Best Regards.
Akpos

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