The Maid and Madam

The maid asked for an increase in salary, and the wife was upset. She asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

HELEN: There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.
WIFE: Who said that?
HELEN: Your husband.
WIFE: Oh.
HELEN: The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.
Wife: Who said that?
HELEN: Your husband.
WIFE: Oh.
HELEN: The third reason is that I am better at sex than you.
WIFE: Did my husband say that as well?
HELEN: No, the gardener did.
WIFE: So, how much do you want?