Football vs Sex

1. Going to your boyfriend's or girlfriend's house without being invited = OFFSIDE.

2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.

3. Condom = GOALKEEPER.

4. Condom breaks = PENALTY.

5. Abortion = RED CARD.

6. A girl with lots of energy = DEFENDER.

7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL.

8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH.

9.Having sex with three girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.

10. Having many chicks and b***ging all = MVP.

11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH.

12. Eight years of sex without having a child = ARSENAL.

13. After two rounds, you request for more =EXTRA TIME.

14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY.

15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ.

16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWING.

17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = TAKING INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE SIDELINE.

18. A lady using pills after sex and still gets pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR.

19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll.

20.Your guy steals your chick= TRUE PASS.

21.Having sex with a girl and your mum opens the door= INJURY.

22.You and your girl break up= GAME OVER.

23. Girl tell you to stop= YELLOW CARD.

24. Changing boyfriend or girlfriend every month and still not satisfy and later go back to your ex = CHELSEA.

25. Having sex with your ex and your friend joined in= SUBSTITUTION.

26. Spending lots of money on a particular girl just to have sex her= MANCHESTER CITY.
You can add yours below in the comment section.