My Biography

NAME: Richard Wizrich

AGE: 109

HOBBIES:

Collecting teeth from a live tiger.

Catching bullets with bare hands.

Assassination.

Jogging up and down Mount Everest

Collecting rock particles from the moon

MY RECORD:

Fought with an elephant and broke its neck.

Skinned a crocodile alive.

Played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded clip and survived.

Killed Superman.

Held my breath under water for 2 months, 3 weeks, 6 hours, 51 minutes and 45 seconds!

Assassinated Adolf Hitler, John F. Kennedy, Tupac, B.I.G (the list is too long).

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT:

Surfed on hot lava while the volcano was still erupting.

Outran a cheetah.

Fluent in 11,798 languages.

Killed twitter bird.

First man to land on the sun.

Carried the pyramid of Giza for 2 days straight!

SILLY THING DONE:

Surfing on a tsunami and hurricane Katrina.

Snowboarding on Mount Everest.

Skydiving from outer space.

EMBARRASSING MOMENT:

Couldn't kill 100 bears with a single punch, only 99 died instantly and the one that was left went to join the circus.

PROUDEST MOMENTS:

When a cobra died after biting me.

When I saved the planet by diverting an asteroid with just one kick.

SOMETHING ABOUT ME:

I really don't like to brag...