Red Alert

A soldier was given a three-day leave to attend to his newly wedded wife but on getting home, he realised that his wife was in her menstrual period.

So he decided to send a telegram to his headquarter to extend his leave but with his mother-in-law and other visitors around, he decided to code his message in the military way. This is what followed;

SOLDIER: Omega one, this is omega twelve, danger signal from the field, red alert in front, extend leave. Do you read me?! Red alert in front, extend leave.

HEADQUARTERS: Omega twelve, this is omega one, I read you loud and clear! Attack from the back, resume immediately! I repeat, attack from the back, resume immediately!