Smart Plan

My wife opened the front door to find the rose petals I'd sprinkled on the floor. They led her down the hallway, into the lounge, round the sofa, back out again and into the kitchen. From there she followed the petals into the dining room, where she did a couple of laps around the dining table.

Confused by now, she was then led back into the hallway, up the stairs, and eventually into our bedroom, where I was waiting naked on the bed.

"I don't know what all that was about," she said, "but it's still a nice surprise."

She then took her clothes off and joined me in bed. My plan had worked perfectly. I wasn't sure what time she'd be home, so while she was wandering around the house like a retard, my girlfriend managed to get dressed and sneak out unnoticed.