Terrible Prayers

Akpos' pastor added him on Facebook and he innocently accepted. Two minutes later, a message came in:

PASTOR: How are you?
AKPOS: I'm fine, pastor.
PASTOR: May the building of heavenly favour collapse on your head.
AKPOS: (No reply).
PASTOR: May the thunder of blessing strike you and your family.
AKPOS: (No reply).
PASTOR: May God slash you with the axe of life.
AKPOS: (no reply).
PASTOR: May God stab you with the knife of riches.
AKPOS: (no reply).
PASTOR: May you be sentenced to life imprisonment in the eternal jail of success.
AKPOS: (No reply).
PASTOR: May the World Trade Centre of happiness collapse on you and your family.
AKPOS: (No reply).
PASTOR: Are you there?
AKPOS: Yes, pastor.
PASTOR: You should be saying amen to claim the Blessings.
AKPOS: OK. May the over-speeding trailer of blessings jam and crush you and your family. May the earthquake of happiness swallow you and your family members. May the sea of miracles drown you and your family members in Jesus' name.
PASTOR: (No reply).
AKPOS: You should be saying amen to claim these prayers pastor.
PASTOR: May thunder fire you! Idiot!
Author: 
@lovethekelekels
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