General Jokes

POLICE: Why did you steal his watch?THIEF: I didn't steal it, he gave it to me!POLICE: When did he give it to you?THIEF: When I showed him the gun!

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5000 in a safety competition all because he is wearing his seatbelt. "What are you going to do with the...

A man walked into a club, went to the bar and ordered a beer. ''Certainly, sir, that'll be 10 naira.'' ''10 naira?!'' the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, ''How much...

One afternoon, Akpos arrived home with a sad news for his wife.AKPOS: Wife, I just received a call, my mother (mama) passed away. Shall we go to town and get some necessities for...

An English man, a French man and a Nigerian man go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.Just as the bartender hands them over, 3 flies buzz down and one lands in each of...

A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing. Since he was blind, she let him in. After bathing, she came out naked shaving in front of him and she tried...

A guy is woken one night by noises coming from his backyard. He gets up and looks through the window and spots two burglars helping themselves to his gardening equipment. The man...

Akpos asked a "Chinese" girl if she would go out with him for a date. He asked her for her mobile number so he could call her.She got all excited and said, "All night f**k sex sex...

A Chinese moves to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy...

AKPOS: Sweetheart, I am GEJ HELEN: Youre kidding? Our president is GEJ (Goodluck Ebele Jonathan) AKPOS: I mean, I am GEJ - GOING ON AN EMERGENCY JOURNEY! HELEN: (smiling) Oh!...

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