Marriage Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset."What's the matter, buddy ?" asks the bartender. "It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back...

A man asks his wife about a mysterious bag of beans in the kitchen. MAN: Honey where did this bag of beans come from?WIFE: Honey I'm sorry please forgive me...I've been unfaithful...

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at...

As soon as the newly-weds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away."How did everything go?" her mum asked."Oh, mother,"...

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "Excuse me, I was too busy looking for my wife.""What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm...

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist...

George looked over the backyard fence and admired Fred's wife while she sunbathed topless.The next day, George corners his neighbour on the driveway saying, "I saw your wife...

A friend of mine had never had sex before.He knew nothing about it. His parents married a girl for him and on the first night after the marriage, he entered the bedroom only to...

Akpos was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want...

Akpos, a shell oil company worker came home from a two years offshore only to find his wife with a newborn baby.Angry, he was determined to track down the father to take revenge."...