Marriage Jokes

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist...

A friend of mine had never had sex before.He knew nothing about it. His parents married a girl for him and on the first night after the marriage, he entered the bedroom only to...

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "Excuse me, I was too busy looking for my wife.""What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm...

A couple received a letter from their daughter who went to study modern physics overseas, the letter read:"My beloved Parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think...

WIFE: Honey before we got married, you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.HUSBAND: Yes, and?WIFE: How come you don't do it anymore?HUSBAND: Have you ever seen a fisherman...

You stop and pick up a nice hitch-hiking girl. Suddenly she loses consciousness and you take her to a hospital. This is STRESS! In the hospital you are being told that she is...

A drunk 18 year old boy asked a married woman out. The woman got so pissed she went to tell her husband about the encounter.The husband told the woman to invite the boy over so...

Every night, after dinner, a man took off for a bar. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. His wife, waiting up for him, would...

MAN: I'm so sorry dear, we can't get married because my family members are seriously against it.WOMAN: What do you mean!? Who are those against our marriage?MAN: My three wives...

A couple agreed that whenever they wanted to have sex they'd say "Let's make a phone call"One day the man sent his son to tell his mom while she was busy in the kitchen.SON: Mom,...