Marriage Jokes

A wife sends a nude photo to her husband with both legs wide open. WIFE: I will wait like this till you come. HUSBAND: That's okay babe, but who is the person taking the picture?

Wife thinks, "Why is he not talking to me? Is he thinking of another woman? Is he seeing someone else? Don't I appeal to him anymore? Is he trying to dump me? Is he now finding me...

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer. After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again...

The mother-in-law, comes home and finds her son-in-law furious and packing his suitcase."What happened?" "What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife,...

WIFE: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?HUSBAND: How can I? I don't even know her.

A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"The husband replied, "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it...

MAGICIAN: I'll cut your wife's body into two halves. AKPOS: What kind of magic is that, you'll turn my problem from one to two! Make her disappear instead

A Man came home from work last night and said to his wife "I have been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and get to employ my own secretary"Wife says...

A mum was lucky enough to see her three daughters wed in the same year, so she whispered to each of them "After your weddings, text me your first night experience and don't forget...

Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again his mother replies, "...