A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and...
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy.
The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for...
John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group. To...
Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says to the other, "How's your sex life, buddy?"
The other guy answers, "Not too good. Every time me and the missus have sex, she loses interest half-way through. It's very frustrating."
A Priest, A Rabbi, and A Minister Walk Into A Bar ...
On this particular afternoon, one of them made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard ... but a REAL challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and...
Date: Feb 19, 2014 Posted by akposjokes 2 comments
If you are a woman:
You will experience feelings of excitement, joy and desire.
You will place the other person's happiness above your own.
Your friends will hate you.
If you are a man:
Your wallet will be lighter.
You will hit things less.
Date: Jan 07, 2014 Posted by akposjokes 0 comments
A second grader asked her mother, "Mum, how did I get here?"
The mom fully aware how young her daughter was replied "God sent you."
"Did God send you too?" asked the child.
"Yes dear," the mother replied.
"What about grandma and grandpa?" the child...
Date: Jan 06, 2014 Posted by akposjokes 5 comments
On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters. She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.
Tuesday, she was again greeted...
Date: Dec 13, 2013 Posted by akposjokes 4 comments
This guy was out bear hunting, and came upon a stand of trees adjacent to a clearing, and thought it looked like a good place to lie in wait to see if a bear came by. Sure enough, after a short while, he caught sight of a bear lumbering through the...
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1) They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2) Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.