All Jokes

TEACHER: If something happening now is Present Tense, what tense will you call it if it happened yesterday?AKPOS: ABSENT TENSE

An Armed Robber invaded Akpos' house one night and threatened to inject him with blood containing HIV virus if he didn't give him all the money he collected from the bank that...

I just saved a life today!I asked a beggar on the roadside how he will feel if I give him N10,000He replied, "I will die of happiness!"So I kept my money.

My neighbour was raped. During the trial in court, the following transpired...PROSECUTING LAWYER: Madam, as this was happening, did you attempt to escape?WOMAN: Yes, I tried to...

YOUR FATHER:OCCUPATION: Civil Servant.SALARY: N50,000.PHONE TYPE: Nokia Torch.YOUR MOTHER:OCCUPATION: Secretary.SALARY: N30,000PHONE TYPE: Tecno Dual Sim (China)YOU:CCUPATION:...

A girl gave one boy her number in Shoprite.10 minutes later, he saw the boy enter his 2015 land rover. She runs towards him and started shouting, "Wrong number!"

Akpos farts (pollutes the air) in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class. The principal walks by and sees him...

GUY: Babe what phone is this?GIRL: Well is the new Bold 20GUY: Does Bold 20 exist?GIRL: YesGUY: How much?GIRL: Bought it for N500,000GUY: WTF! What can it do?GIRL: It doesn't go...

In a Social Studies class...TEACHER: A woman who is 100% sure of where are husband is, is called?AKPOS: A widow.

if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?What colour is a chameleon on a mirror?Why are cigarettes sold at petrol stations when it is prohibited there?Why is...